Movie Reviews

A review of Transformers 4: the age of extinction

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So recently,I owed my younger brother a favour, and therefore had to accompany him to the theatres, to watch transformers 4. I’ve already watched all 3 transformers movies and wasn’t that excited about this one. But I was actually ready to give it a shot, and try to enjoy the movie. I had no idea.

First of all, what is with Michael bay and explosions? For the first 20 minutes of the movie, I actually counted the explosions. A hundred and two explosions in 20 minutes. A hundred and two. This should be some kind of world record. I gave up after that, because stuff was blowing up faster than I could count. It’s just funny how everything, no matter what or where it is, randomly bursts into flames. The missile would hit the ground, and it would explode in 3 places. It does not even make sense!

Do you know what else doesn’t make sense? The way women are treated in the movie.
The lead girl character (tessa) has:
blonde hair – ✅ check
Booty shorts and see through shirts – ✅ check
Fake tan – ✅ check
IQ of (-5) – ✅ check
Lipstick that doesn’t smudge after multiple explosions – ✅ check
Ok you could have stopped with the booty shorts, but was it really necessary to call attention to that fact, focus camera on her butt, multiple times? We get the message, she is “hot”.
The girl character in the movie is basically an ornament, along with the BMWs and sports cars.

I’m curious, who wrote the dialogue for this movie? I just wanted to know so that I can stay away from his screen writing for the rest of my life. Like seriously dude, I know sixth graders who have better comebacks. This dialogue I remember between two characters (attinger’s may not be accurate)
Attinger: I have a saying, trust no one.
Lockdown: I have a saying, I don’t care
Uh…pretty lame for a guy who wants to exterminate the human race.

Ladies, there is another issue that deserves concern. The boyfriend. Douche bag alert!!! He is a race car driver who is supposed to make the ladies swoon, but all I could feel was disgusted. I mean, come on, what kind of person carries around a card that allows them to date minors? Oh and let’s not forget the Romeo and Juliet comparison. Bleh…yuck. In one scene, he tells the dad that he “is here to save my girlfriend, not your daughter” Ohhh so that’s why you were hiding behind his back while he risked his life saving your butt. What a wimp. Maybe this dialogue is supposed to sound heroic, but it only annoyed me, because it’s a pretty insensitive thing to say to a dad. I am a teenager myself, but I would never let any boyfriend of mine talk to my dad like that. Tessa was running into his arms and doing the “you are my hero” thing, while I would have just called triple zero.

Let me move on to the technical details. The editing. In one shot, a car is shown to be empty, but in the next shot, there is people in there. Magic! It’s almost as if Michael bay couldn’t sit through his own movie, to refine it properly. I wouldn’t blame him though, it’s three hours of non stop shooting and blowing up. Three whole hours. Half way through, I started zoning out. I would come back to earth with a jerk, to find out that I didn’t miss much, just a couple of buildings and a few hundred cars had toppled over, with no connection whatsoever to the storyline(?). 3 hours of attention is way too much to ask from the audience, and the movie really started dragging at some points.

There were some positive points about the movie. For starters, Stanley Tucci did a very good job with his character, which was quite complex, and succeeded in eliciting a few chuckles from the audience. Mark wahlberg wasn’t too bad as well. His character was a little cliche, but it still worked. And the best thing about the movie so far…the soundtrack was by imagine dragons!! I swear that was the only thing which made the long hours bearable.

When the agony was finally over, I managed to get back on my feet with difficulty (my eardrums were so damaged that I had started having trouble with my balance). The world was suddenly too silent and dull. I was half expecting random shooting and a couple bushes to burst into flames. I hadn’t left the theatre, when I overheard bits of conversation about transformers 5. I sincerely hope that they make another transformers movie. So that I can ignore it, and enjoy the feeling that I ignored it.

Did you guys watch Transformers 4? What did you think?

Written by justateenagegirl

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